Daria Morgendorffer

[This New Feather has found the journal, at least. She manages to make the new feather dress look even more shapeless, and her wings are a dull brown that would be the envy of a mud puddle trying its hardest to look unappealing.

She's also calm. Her expression is impassive and her tone is every bit as neutral.]

Since I don't recall any moments of spontaneous and uproarious joy, I'm forced to conclude that I have not, in fact, died and gone to Heaven. Besides, without a harp, I'm afraid I just couldn't get into the spirit.

Unfortunately, I also don't believe this is some alternate universe straight from the Twilight Zone, and I was actually secretly looking forward to college, instead of this. So if someone's listening, mind a more believable explanation? This guide reads like a practical joke, if I knew anyone likely to plan it.